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My husband and I were in a wonderful Bible study of mostly professionals when I healing from sexual abuse. I once asked, “How many of you had wonderful fathers?” Out of 4 couples (8 people), only 1—just 1—said he had a great father. The rest of us had experienced significant wounds from our fathers. Wow! That shocked me!

My day father was pretty remarkable—friendly, respected in the community, a good teacher, taking us many places to hike and backpack, and led us in reading the Bible around the dinner table. But something bad happened at night. So I had a day-daddy and a night-daddy.

It has taken me years to heal from these traumas. I still have issues I work on. When I recalled the abuse, I would cry in church every time we sang about God the Father. But after I had healed substantially from the memories of sexual abuse, I began to be able to receive the heavenly Father’s love into my heart. Then I cried as I finally connected with my “Abba Daddy”. Until then, the only time I thought about God the Father was when I prayed the Lord’s Prayer growing up in church. Other than that, Jesus was the One I talked with.

Broken love is hard to mend. When we begin to trust God—either Jesus, the Holy Spirit, or the Father—we can more easily begin to trust people we know. If fathers have hurt us as little girls or mothers hurt little boys, we can often be triggering in our marriages. When God heals the deepest places in our souls and we can finally rest in His love for us, our hearts are more able to open up to those we see who are trustworthy. Little by little—baby step by baby step—we can open our vulnerable hearts to pour out, often in sobs, our aching hearts we have hid for so long.

If you start to feel overwhelmed or very sad, please stop listening and then only listen to these songs with a friend, prayer minister, or therapist. I want to make sure you are always safe!

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Loved by the Father, Loving each other                                                                                   

1.   Little sad girl                                  

2.   Dreams                                        

3.   Betrayed                                       

4.   Did this really happen to me?    

5.   Afraid to cry                                            

6.   A time to cry                                            

7.   Jesus hears your cry                               

8.   Beautiful child                             

9.   Wrap me in Your love, Lord           

10. Who has time to understand me?       

11. Sacrifice                                       

12. Calling the broken                               

13. God of all comfort                                  

14. His healing love                          

15. Piano medley     

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Dedication: I dedicate this CD to my husband, Brent. He had many reasons to give up on me. When I remembered being sexually abused as a child (13 years into our marriage), we both went into a wide range of emotions. That was just the start of what came to light over the next 30+ years. My pain, triggering, and reactionary distrust of men were extreme at times. My personal journey through abuse was horrific—the raw edge. Healing required huge amounts of time, money, and energy. It took a special person to walk through this journey of healing with me. Most of our vacations were spent working on the “latest issues at hand” with the goal of getting me well—prayer sessions, counseling, and conferences. At these conferences where we met other severe abuse victims, we discovered that most marriages, where one spouse has severe abuse, do not survive long. Yet Brent stood with a long term commitment to me, no matter what was discovered. I am so thankful he made that choice. Over the years, we cried, prayed, talked, and sought God’s way of healing. Many of the days and nights pushed us past our personal limits—into the arms of God. Thank you, Brent, for your persistent love, listening heart, shared tears, crying out to God on my behalf, leadership, financial sacrifices, patience, and steadfast stability. Your support and hours of holding me close through the nightmares will never be forgotten. I love you! You have lived out this passage before my eyes— “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.” Ephesians 5:25-27 (NASB) Special

Thanks again to Joe Howard for your wonderful arrangements. You never cease to amaze me with your variety of styles, transpositions, and variations, weaving each song with different colors into a beautiful tapestry of His love. Thank you also to Teresa Orozco-Petersen for your gentle, sensitive, and delightful flute improvisations. Both of your creative gifts add to this CD in marvelous ways. Thank you!

Please read before listening: If you have been seriously abused, please listen to this CD first with a prayer minister, therapist, or pastor, if possible. It has surfaced emotional pain and memories in some listeners. If you are not in counseling and listen to this and find yourself recalling abuse or having strong emotions, please get help. I want you to be safe!

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CREDITS:

Lyrics & melodies Wanda Viola

Vocals Wanda Viola

Piano Arrangements Joe Howard

Flute Teresa Orozco-Petersen

Editing & Mixing David Sandwisch daviddfc@pacbell.net

Produced by Wanda Viola

Graphic Design Mary Ellen Deutscher mwexpressions@sbcglobal.net

All lyrics and melodies written by Wanda Viola. © 2011 His Healing Love Ministries. All rights reserved.