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When we’ve been hurt as children, especially by primary care givers like our parents or other relatives, it takes time as adults to learn to trust. Trusting God can be very difficult. Trusting people of one sex or the other can also be super challenging if we were abused by one most of the time.

These songs poured out of me as I was healing. What do we do when we know we’ll be hurt again? Hide! If we can’t physically disappear, we escape inside through dissociation or fantasy.

So how do we truly learn to trust? Time after time I came to Jesus and later the heavenly Father (after I had healed a great deal from the wounds from my earthly father). God was always there in His timeless Word through the Psalms or Isaiah or the gospels. Jesus loved people of all classes and all races and all genders. He tenderly spoke to the brokenhearted. I learned I could trust Him with my breaking heart.

My husband, as he began to understand how deeply I had been wounded, tenderly wrapped me in his arms and patiently walked with me through the fires. He wasn’t perfect—but over time learned about the effects of trauma with me as we attended conferences and met with prayer ministers, pastors, and therapists. I began to trust a man, my friend, and my companion.

If you start to feel overwhelmed or very sad, please stop listening and then only listen to these songs with a friend, prayer minister, or therapist. I want to make sure you are always safe!

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CD #2 Learning to trust 

1.   Hiding

2.   Sweet, little innocent girl

3.   I was a child

4.   Little lamb

5.   Jesus, do You really love me?

6.   Under Your wings

7.   You carried me

8.   Jesus, Your name is Wonderful

9.   I will never leave you, My child

10. I’ll trust You

11. You’re always there

12. When I am weak

13. He is near

14. Jesus is gentle

15. Piano medley

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Thank you to the musicians: Joe Howard for his awesome and sensitive arrangements, Teresa’s lovely flute, Marilyn’s beautiful cello, sweet Olivia’s vocals, and my son, David Johann’s deep and gentle voice. Thank you also to Ethel Herr’s POS writer’s group for all their suggestions and support, Wanda Berger for her encouragement and suggestions for arrangements, Amy Huemann for her excellent vocal coaching, Mary for her wonderful graphic designs, David Sandwisch for his patience teaching me and excellent mixing, and all who have prayed for this project.

“we were completely overwhelmed, the burden…more than we could bear…we told ourselves that this was the end…coming to the end of our tether that we might learn to trust, not in ourselves, but in God... Further, we trust him to keep us safe in the future… (parts of II Corinthians 1:8-11, J.B. Phillips)

I’ve been at the end of myself! Frequently I cried out to God to get me through the valley of the shadow. Only God could get me through my defenses, self-protection, and fears. Some friends abandoned me, not understanding my anguish or the complexity of my abuse. Others backed away, not knowing how to help me or afraid of my pain. Yet many dear friends prayed for and encouraged me. God continued to show me His loving kindness again and again. Jesus understood my loud cries as He experienced them, too (Hebrews 5:7).

Satan tried to destroy me, but when I reached up to God, He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the miry pit. That is why I can trust Him.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Dedication Trust is shown by gentle kindness, loving eyes, quiet, compassion, and the expression of overflowing grace for our failures. I have been fortunate to meet and become friends with special ministers of God’s grace in the last years. They have been the heart of Jesus to me–allowing me to feel my own trembling heart, allowing painful memories to surface, and holding my hand as I faced the next unknown horrors.

With overflowing gratefulness I dedicate this CD to Becky, Bev, Connie, Ethel, Gayleen, Karen H., Karen S., Lisa, Louise, Sally, Sherry C., Sherry S., Susan, Tom, Wanda B., and of course, my husband, Brent. You have set aside your schedules, sacrificed your time, dried my tears, and helped me through troubled waters as I have cried, raged, struggled with God, confessed my sins, and forgiven my abusers. Thank you, thank you, thank you – for your love, prayers, hugs, and expressions of kindness!

“Like a shepherd He will tend His flock, In His arm He will gather the lambs

And carry them in His bosom; He will gently lead the nursing ewes.” Isaiah 40:11

Jesus is the Shepherd of my heart. He loves you, too. Just open up your heart to Him and ask Him to draw close to you. Bring your wounds and your anger to Him. He will heal your broken heart. You will find Him always trustworthy and kind. As you discover His gentle love, I pray you will learn to trust again.

Please read before listening: If you have been seriously abused, please listen to this CD first with a prayer minister, therapist, or pastor, if possible. It has surfaced emotional pain and memories in some listeners. If you are not in counseling and listen to this and find yourself recalling abuse or having strong emotions, please get help. I want you to be safe!

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CREDITS:

Lyrics & melodies Wanda Viola Vocals Wanda Viola

Piano Arrangements Joe Howard

Cello Marilyn George

Flute Teresa Orozco-Petersen

Male Vocalist David Johann

Child Vocalist Olivia Heumann

Editing & Mixing David Sandwisch daviddfc@pacbell.net

Produced by Wanda Viola

Graphic Design Mary Ellen Deutscher & Cover Photo mwexpressions@sbcglobal.net

All lyrics and melodies written by Wanda Viola. © 2010 His Healing Love Ministries. All rights reserved.